Stuck Between A Rock & A Hard Place...
Created and posted for your consideration by Matthew Glenn at 11:58 AMSo, I love my daughter I really do. But for some reason her sleeping habits are a bit crazy probably due to my odd work schedule. I should preface this by saying she's only 2.5 years old. Now, her regular schedule has been to wake up around 9am. Eat, Play, Read, and take a nap about 2pm. Her nap is usually a pretty solid 90 to 120 minutes long. I LOVE THIS. Why? Because I'm a selfish guy, I want personal time. I love my wife, I love my daughter, but I gotta have me time. Watch some tv, play some Xbox360, screw around on Facebook, WHATEVER, but I love having the 2 hours of free time. HOWEVER, having this 2 hour nap for my little girl completely recharges her battery. Now, she's not tired again, even if she spends the next 4 to 6 hours running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, until about 10pm and sometimes 11pm. Which I don't complain about because my dear wife is the one with her. I also like to come home and at least get a hug and kiss from the little girl before she goes down for the night BUT, it takes at least 30 minutes sometimes an hour, for her to fall asleep for the night. BUT, when she does finally pass out, she is out like a light and usually won't wake up till 8:30 or 9:00 A.M. the next day. The problem you say? This whole exercise of spending so much time trying to convince our little girl to sleep is very tiresome to for my wife especially if it drags on for close to an hour. My wife and I also don't get much time together before she has to go to bed because she works mornings. I'm usually still cracked out from work and don't get into bed till close to 2am on a good night.
The Alternative: No Nap for baby. I'm willing to sacrifice my 2 hours of free time if it will make my wife's life easier but there is a trade we're seeing. If our little girl gets no nap, she starts getting very cranky about 5pm. We've even seen her pass out on the Sofa at 6:30pm and has been impossible to wake up for 3 hours resulting in her being completely awake and not wanting to go back to bed till nearly midnight. We've also seen her last till 9pm with no nap, BUT about 2 to 3am when I'm getting ready to crawl into bed, she starts rolling around, is restless, or actually wakes up calling for "MOMMY". And because I'm the one still "awake" It's me who has to try and put her down or if I ignore the dirty look from the wife and make her get up, my wife spends the next 60 to 90 minutes trying to get the child back down again. This however results in an irritable wife.
I guess the whole point to this rant is, what is your advice? Buy a new bed? Skip the nap? Try and get her use to no nap and sleeping through the night? Deal with the nap and odd work schedule till life improves?
Can't wait to hear your responses, even if anonymous,
Matthew
After that THEN comes "me-time." Now, been there, going thru that, but you do your best to follow those priorities.
If she loves you (and she does) then she will do what is best for you (provide you with your "me-time?") and otherwise take care of you and make you feel loved and supported. I know that you love her intensely and so you will want to make her feel loved and supported, too and will do what is best for her.
You need your "me-time" and so you need to work out a schedule so you AND your lovely wife will get it. However, your daughter is a priority and her needs (what is right for her) come first.
Roy
Toddlers and young children need naps to ensure proper growth and development, and good mood. Without a nap, they become irate and overtired. I've actually found that without a nap, bedtime is more difficult.
The best thing to do in my experience is to begin the bedtime ritual well in advance of bedtime. Lay out the schedule by saying, "Now we're going to brush your teeth, then we'll pick out some books, and then go upstairs." Once you're done brushing teeth, reinforce the schedule again: "Okay, time to pick out books, then I'll/Mommy will tuck you in."
By the time you're done reading, they're well aware of the fact that it's time for bed and will be less likely to resist.
Once in the bedroom, maintain a firm, loving, consistent ritual. Begin by reading a book upstairs, then hugs & kisses, then good night. Leave. If she wakes and cries, hugs & kisses again, and a firmer good night.
If she wakes up yet again, use a firmer tone, no hugs & kisses, and back in bed. Each subsequent time, avoid speaking altogether, and just put her back to bed, gently but firmly.
I'm not ashamed to say that I learned this technique watching Supernanny. Our son initially met it with extreme resistance, but since he caught on that we weren't going to be manipulated, bedtime only takes about 15 minutes.
Also, allowing for flexibility in who puts her to bed is a plus. If you're ever home in time to put her down, do so confidently, using the same ritual/language Mommy does.
Of course, this assumes that she's in a bed. If she's not, maybe a big girl bed would be a good idea. Get her on board by presenting it as a reward.
Hope this helps!